Fiction – The Reflection

il_fullxfull.289034364Rainbows in the sky, a puddle in the waters, the pretty cherry blossom tree, the mighty oak are some of the glimpses that keep flashing in his mind. Flash, Flash, Flash and then a blur again, A blur of nothingness, A blur of darkness and then every vision is wiped out clean. All that is left are grey walls on either sides, a window with the view of the setting sun. He sighs, it’s an evening, of a day he doesn’t remember, of a year he cannot recall. Living in the moment, he reckons is the biggest curse that dementia inflicted on his being.

Dementia, the only word that defines him now, and is written for him in bold, on his bedside table ,so that he remembers, the one thing that he is  eager to  forget. He turns around and notices his arm band, which has a name and series of digits lined together,it’s a phone number, he assumes. And tries as hard, hoping the name would resonate his being, or ignite his neurons. But there’s no flicker , and after a while of trying hard, he gives up. He lies down , feeling frail and wonders,Was he a good man, Was he somebody who made his children proud?  Was he loved? Did his children look like him? Or his wife, if there was one, Why wasn’t she with him now?. A yawn, that he tries hard to stifle and tries to continue to recall his past, while his brain cells can feel any sense of activity, It must be the drugs he assumes, that makes him so drowsy all the time.

And then he wonders, if he was a lonely man?, closing his eyes. And then a flash, a glimpse of his home, and the smell of warm muffins makes him hungry. Try as he might, he cannot see the person holding the tray of muffins. Just a glimpse of  soft pretty hands, and then he knows, yes, he was loved.  Because the glimpse permeates his body with a surreal warmth  and a deep sense of joy fills his being. He snuggles to his soft pillow and tries to sleep. The hunger pangs don’t let him sleep, so he wakes up, trying to get his unsteady body to take that one step that will get him up on his feet. Little did he know, that one step would demand his entire strength. Lao Tzu’s  quote, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step” pops up in his head. He recalls, he was a ten year old when he heard his father, reading this quote  aloud to him.  His father who loved him, His father, who was a good man.Flash Flash,Flash. His tired mind starts giving up on him again, He decides, he will stop trying , maybe a still mind would give him some energy, He gives up trying to recall, and finally manages to push his body upwards.

He gets up and is startled at the strange man staring at him. He is embarrassed that a stranger had to witness his struggle. As he moves closer, he notices the strange man inching closer too. He feels threatened, something about the bearded man unnerves him. He is trying hard to stand still, now and the fear is making him sweat. The man stares back at him, inching closer, stepping into his comfort zone, he can hear his heart pounding with fear. He must call for help he reckons, and starts shouting at the top of his voice,as loud as his frail self can muster.

He notices an entourage of people coming in  to help him. He notices the stranger disappear . A man with a stethoscope, a doctor, he assumes,  is checking for his heart beart. The doctor calms him down and explains, that hallucinations are a part of his progressive dementia, and now his own reflection in the mirror  scares him. He hears the doctor say these words and then Flash Flash Flash, he recalls using the same very words to calm down his father several years ago. Flash Flash Flash,..feeling frail and tired, he lies down and recalls the only prayer he remembers,, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change “ and I must never forget that living in the moment is all that I can do, the past and the future are not for me anymore.

This short fiction is my submission for Blogadda -Write over the weekend

And Ahem I got a mention

wowbadge

 

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About Thumbelina81
A dreamer lost in this world. Part time Writer, Part time Gardener, A full time wife.

15 Responses to Fiction – The Reflection

  1. KP says:

    My best wishes to you.A nicely written story that was scary to me with my advanced years and failing memory!!You have captured the rambling and often eluding thoughts of the man in a realistic manner.

  2. Kajal Kapur says:

    That’s a beautiful story!

  3. anjan roy says:

    Wonderful…though it brought a fear in me…a person with a progressive dementia…is hard to think about…!!!

  4. My Say says:

    nice narration of forgotten self identity ! Wish you all the best for the contest

  5. That was scary. Mental problems are far more difficult than physical, specially when we loose sense of self.

  6. tumpishome says:

    Very well written piece…the emotions were captured briliantly…well done 🙂

  7. sjiggyasa says:

    Really liked the beginning 🙂 very well narrated 🙂

  8. Very touching and empathetic exploration of a person with dementia. No past and no future. Just the moment. Isn’t what we all tell ourselves to do? So why is it so difficult then? Bears thinking.

  9. Ritesh says:

    very well penned….and indeed a true reflection of dementia

  10. Anonymous says:

    It is a frightening prospect indeed, what you write of.

  11. amazing story! dementia is a scary disease for sure.

  12. Pingback: Write over the weekend - A new theme for Indian Bloggers this week

  13. Gowri says:

    wow…

    You actually went into the guys’ mind…

    Wonderfully written Sonia…

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