My attempt at Fiction- The Web

She folded away his shirt,placing it faceup, folding across the lines, ensuring no creases sneaked in, just the way her mother taught her when she was young. Placing it in his, now empty cupboard, she wondered if the liners in the shelf needed changing. She was the perfect homemaker, the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect cook, the perfect hostess. Yet she was now all alone, with nothing but his shirt that remained, as the only evidence of their marriage which lasted for twenty years.

He walked out last night and, all she wondered was if the door was tightly shut. And who would mow the lawn, now that he is gone.  She wasn’t heartless, nor was she insensitive; She was just being herself. The one who prided in her sparkling home, the obsessive list maker, the compulsive cleaner, the perfectionist who planned every minute of her life. Chaos was not her style. She had a place marked for everything. And her home was neat, organized, elegant, just the way her mother taught her to. The sense of achievement that warmed her heart when she looked at her neatly maintained home was something she wouldn’t trade for anything in this world. Spontaneity was an alien concept and she did not believe in random coincidences. She liked to be in control, in charge of her home and her family. Letting go of even a single moment would terrify her and she knew no other way to keep her world together.

With every passing year, her standards of cleanliness kept getting higher. Bordering on unrealistic at times. Being unfulfilled with her only passion, she worked hard, clocking herself every minute. And the unmet goals led to a depressed her. Nothing seemed to satisfy her until she surpassed her expectations. And, her husband, was lost, lost in her routine, craving for her time and attention. The home felt like a sanitised clinic. Sparkling antiseptic clean, but living there was no different to him from living in a morgue. He craved for warmth, spontaneity, laughter, madness, all the things that would define them, before they became a  couple. He wanted to travel, explore, abandon everything and follow his heart and wanted his wife to feel the same. He did not want to be a slave to his home, He got weary of the lists, of fitting into her routine. Long talks, even longer silences, every measure taken seemed a futile attmept to lure her away from her obsession. And with each conversation, her compulsive obsession only grew with a vengeance. And unable to bear his loneliness anymore, he walked out, leaving her alone to be with her perfect house.

And now she wonders, if a well kept house is the sign of a life mis-spent. Would she do things differently if he came back?  Would she die a lonely death, only because she was a perfectionist?  Would her present be different,if she wasn’t surrounded with imperfect people? Who would she pick up after now that everyone have gone? Was perfection truly a form of self abuse? And in the midst of her thoughts, she reckoned it was time to change the shelf liners.



About Thumbelina81
A dreamer lost in this world. Part time Writer, Part time Gardener, A full time wife.

8 Responses to My attempt at Fiction- The Web

  1. KP says:

    That was a fine story well written bringing out the adverse outcome of anything carried too far..I was reminded of the quote that”we come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”This applies not only to persons but also to many other things.
    Came through Meera’s blog

    • Thumbelina81 says:

      Thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment. Imperfections rule our world and tolerance towards imperfections is slowly waning away.Unfortunately, unconditional love is a forgotten virtue these days. I loved your blog as well KP.

  2. Fawzia says:

    Well written babe, very honest, speaks to me in various different levels..

  3. KaJo says:

    Good one with a smooth flow. Enjoyed reading it.

  4. Vasavi says:

    Thank you for writing this. Made me really think through, me being the perfectionist ( The VIrgo ).

  5. tumpishome says:

    Loved reading it…now desperate for some more. Please keep them coming fast 🙂

  6. My Say says:

    perfectionists !! they are such a pain …. i could feel every bit of your story … coz I am still killing the germ of considering the world ‘not in place’ ..very nice write up .. the day starts with a gr8 post read !! 🙂

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