Baby talk is not small talk

I can feel the whirlwinds of   motherhood in the air again. It reaches its crescendo when I see young mothers walking around in the lawns, all with their different kinds of prams  getting some sunshine and exercise .Most importantly exchanging notes on the tiny gurgles or the biggest burps or the happy chuckles  of their lil ones.

While  I am happy to walk around and be cordial ,so that they can partake in some adult conversation. I feel the need to wear a board which says “Baby Talk is not small talk”. And no, unsolicited views on my ticking biological clock or my disappearing fertility window are just not welcome. And no, shoving your motherhood pride in my face doesn’t help either.

It wasnt by design, but somehow I ended up being the one on the other side of thirties without a tiny human being to prove my superfertility .  I have made peace with the crappy hand that my attempts at motherhood doled out to me. But I am not able to make peace dealing with the unsolicited advice that comes in bucket loads.  I am not cynical or jaded, I love babies and  so my pendulum swings between  letting my maternal instincts kick in clouding my judgement  and being rational by not jumping on the bandwagon and get lost in a wild goose chase again.

At the risk of sounding like a sore loser, I say stop, Give it a rest people and if you have nothing interesting in your lives going on apart from your  kids goo goo’s. Go get a life. And while you are at it, stop speculating about whether my husband is shooting blanks or if my uterus is hostile.

Well, I don’t sit and judge the kind of mother you are ,or how ill mannered your little goon is , so please may I ask, for the favour to be returned. Can you please do me the courtesy of keeping your very snoopy nose out of my uterus?

So if you ever need lessons on how to talk to a different species like the non-mothers. Here are some tips :

1.  Don’t give unsolicited advice. We don’t need it nor cherish it

2.  I might be the woman who doesn’t have kids but that doesn’t automatically translate into unhealthy marriages  or unhealthy bodies. In case you haven’t  noticed, theres plenty of material online which proves otherwise.

3.  Another lesson in mama propaganda is something we don’t need.

Enjoy your kids , enjoy your life but please do remember ,  if you want to shower me with  your neighbourly love, a bunch of muffins would seal the deal  better than mommy advice.


About Thumbelina81
A dreamer lost in this world. Part time Writer, Part time Gardener, A full time wife.

6 Responses to Baby talk is not small talk

  1. Fawzia says:

    Yup everybody are experts at dishing out gyaan, the many many advices I get from my loving friends and family adopt, surrogate, your are not blessed, egg donor, sperm donor, put your heart into it.. I am soo blessed for such deep and thoughtful advices..

  2. Amba says:

    You said it! Perfect reply to all that unwarranted advice. When I hear people say “If you are not pregnant 9 months to the date of your marriage, something is definitely wrong”-I’m like what?! We all need to take a step back and stop outlining the normal path that we assume everyone’s lives should take and instead start accepting people’s “personal” choices. Loved this post Sonia! You have a powerful way of speaking out about the issues that matter!

  3. Gowri says:

    Very well written Sonia.
    It could be a choice or a fate, respect is all that one asks for.

  4. tumpi says:

    Really well said….everyone needs to understand that motherhood is a matter of choice and deciding not to have a kind is personal and does not necessarily amount to infertility. loved this post…wished my in-laws could see it 🙂

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