In which I confess I have been a slacker

Time just flies. Not long ago, we were ushering in the new year and voila, we are almost done with half a month of January. While the whole world was succumbing to the pressures of the holiday season, with resolutions and scorecards, with an aim to re-invent themselves. I confess I have been a slacker. I slipped into oblivion, living in my self induced time warp and watched the days and nights blend into each other.

I have done nothing but hibernate in my warm cocoon of comfort and familiarity. No strange roads to tread, no puzzling people to meet. Nothing but staring into the space and numbing my brain cells with mindless TV and aimless browsing. The better part of the month saw me in  a contemplative, unhappy mode and succumbing to the need to vegetate. I wonder what brought this weird feeling on but I am unable to fend off the inertia that is pushing me lower  the downward spiral. While I diligently put together an action plan at the end of every day, somewhere a switch takes over again and I am left  with the inertia I began with. I am lost in my bubble of nothingness again. A bubble I am too scared to pop inspite of hating it here.

Its plain catharsis, the feeling of being lonely, unproductive and terribly sad.I wish I could blame it on PMS, it would have been so much easier to comprehend and explain.  All I do is shun any form of human contact, don’t talk or meet people but wallow in self pity or whatever I like, and lay on my derriere. I confess I have been a slacker and have probably hit rock bottom when it comes to energy and enthusiasm. I feel like a zombie walking around, waiting for a purpose to cling on to and move forward instead of moving backward. It is nice not having to talk at times but it is scary to find yourself thwarting every attempt of conversation and reasoning. I could do anything to be left alone now so much that my usual shortcuts at nirvana cooking,blogging,exercising,  retail therapy have lost their sheen and are unable to turn my verve on. After trying out every single diversion, I confess I have been a slacker . Acutely aware of the fact that I am going to hate myself sooner or later for not giving the inertia a solid kicking . Immediate need is to get myself together and avoid sliding further down.

Now that I have written so much, let me sleep even though I dont want to but nevertheless easier to do. I confess I have been a slacker and I am not liking it.


About Thumbelina81
A dreamer lost in this world. Part time Writer, Part time Gardener, A full time wife.

3 Responses to In which I confess I have been a slacker

  1. Fawzia says:

    Yes very nice get off your derrière and finish G’s A..

  2. vannidapooh7 says:

    I think babies live a similar kind of existence- no pressures, no tensions, no fixed routine. And we wish we could slip back into time to be like them. I love living this aimless life bordering on the reclusive, cuz society never did care much for our types. If I had to look for the silver lining, I’d say this Me-time is great to touch base with who you really are, what you really want, where you want to head, who is worth your time….

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